Country Music

I wanna kill whoever invented country music. And I want them to die slowly and painfully, none of this immediate death and minimal pain crap. I am being forced to listen to this crime against music (and nature, for that matter!) every fucking day at my senior project and it has GOT to STOP.

No one gives a shit about your truck, your woman, your honkey tonk whatever, your dogs, your gun, or your motherfucking cowboy hat. So stop it! Oh my god and that awful guitar that sounds the same on every single track! Why do so many people listen to this crap? It's horrible! I know that all the gun-toting, liberal-hating, tax evading republicans LOVE it, but what the fuck?! There is absolutely nothing charming about that weird voice all those country "stars" sing in. And I put stars in quotes because everybody in their right mind has never heard of any of these pioneers of terrible ear and head pain.

All of us normal people should ban together to shut down CMT and WGAR and all those who advocate this shite. Sure it would be a bit like the crusades, but we'll all be much happier for it. And besides, it can't possibly do any harm to get rid of a bunch of middle-aged white people, can it? Lord knows there are plenty of them.



Oh, and one more thing, JOHNNY CASH IS NOT, I repeat NOT COUNTRY MUSIC. He's rockabilly, just like Presley and Lewis and all of those kickass people. In fact those in country music at the time hated Johnny Cash! Just setting the record straight. You can like Johnny Cash and still hate country.

Thanks.